volumetwo | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ continued from here! ]

[ It's about an hour after he usually arrives when James finally gets home. He had to take care of his, uh, problem, and then he killed some time loitering around the office, doing little odd jobs here and there, just to make sure that Scorpius would really be gone by the time he got home.

He's still a little stunned at himself as he steps inside, slipping his jacket off and dropping his bag by the door. He's actually muttering to himself as he does- stupid, stupid, stupid- in a little mantra to himself.

Dinner. Merlin. He needs to find dinner. ]

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"I love my owl, dad, but letters just take too long when you can just use a phone." Which was something a lot of the older wizards at the ministry still struggled with. "Grandpa started texting me the other day, too. Didn't make a lick of sense. Meant to show you at work earlier today."

James chews on his lower lip, but he straightens up as he does -- posture unconsciously prouder, head a little higher. It's amazing how much lighter he feels with so much of that internalized shame lifted. If his Da says it's going to be okay, then maybe it really will be.

"Yeah, I'll let him know."

"Merlin help you if Arthur is texting now," Harry said, unable to help the laugh that bubbled out. He'd always been so fascinated by Muggle things; it wasn't really shocking he'd try out a cell phone. Who even knew, though, how he managed to get it to work, let alone send a text to James. No doubt Molly was unaware of his new toy.

"All right. I'll go, then. And James..." He reached out, gripping James's shoulder. "I love you."

James glances at him again, trying not to seem surprised by the remark. He hesitates, concerned, before reaching up to gently touch Harry's hand with his own, a clumsy attempt at reciprocation.

"I love you, too, Da. Let me know, um, when you find anything out?"

"Of course." Harry took a step back, gave James one last smile, and then turned to Disapparate. He'd forgotten entirely what he actually had come to discuss with James, but whatever it was, it could no doubt wait. And Harry would use the door next time, that was for sure.

It takes James a solid few minutes of sitting on the arm of his couch, staring at the door and just processing what's happened, before he finally manages to take his phone out of his pocket. Well, he's not hungry anymore, so it's probably a good thing that his pasta was ruined.

Hey. Are you alright? Everything's okay.

Scorpius stares at his phone. He's been staring at it since he got back to Hogwarts, holed himself up behind his four-poster, and felt generally like he was going to throw up his intestines from the sheer anxiety and panic racing through him.

Worst of all was the guilt. He'd done this. He'd done this to James. And now, it was likely that James would never speak to him again.

He'd typed sorry sorry sorry sorry over and over again on his phone but hadn't worked up the nerve to send anything. When his phone buzzed, he jumped, hit send on accident, and then gasped when he saw James's text.

Everything's okay.

Maybe James is just being nice, but Scorpius doubts it. He wouldn't say it was okay if it wasn't....right?

Hurriedly, Scorpius adds, What happened?? James, I am so sorry I should have listened to you please don't hate me

The barrage of sorries takes him by surprise and he winces a little, feeling his own flood of guilt. He should've messaged him the moment that he knew things were alright; there was no way that Scorpius didn't feel completely terrible about all of this. God, he hadn't been kidding when he said he had no idea how to be a boyfriend, had he?

Oh, shut up, Malfoy. I TRIED to hate you before and it didn't work, remember? It's not going to happen because of something that happened on accident.

A moment of unsure hesitation before he sends it, trying to lighten the mood, and then he adds:

Are you okay? It's really okay.

It would be funny. Really. But this isn't a normal circumstance, and Scorpius can't settle the churning of his stomach. The whole thing is his fault. He just...he just outed James to his father! And got caught sneaking out of Hogwarts in the process.

You swear??

He doesn't know what else to say. He's half-afraid James is lying to him to save him some embarrassment or something.

He sucks his breath in through his teeth. Well... maybe things were better for James than they were Scorpius.

Um. Da is going to tell the Headmaster you've been sneaking out. They're going to wanna know how you were doing it. That's what he was angriest about.

It's...sort of shocking. After all he's heard from the papers and his own family about Harry Potter, he'd have thought the guy would have come to hex his dick off or something. But according to James, he was angrier that Scorpius had been sneaking out than shagging his son.

It's...a relief. He can make up an easy excuse as to why he was sneaking out. Hopefully Mr. Potter will allow him that much.

But he's okay with YOU?

I didn't mean to out you...

And then James is typing the next part before he hardly realizes it, more in a rush of relief than anything else.

He still loves me. He doesn't think I'm fucked up.

Scorpius smiles, releases a heavy breath of his own. Good, that's... That's good. Great, actually. That doesn't mean Scorpius will have the same happy experience with his family, but at least he hasn't completely screwed up James's life.

You're NOT fucked up. :)

Look at that, Scorpius finally mastered emoticons.

You're kind of stupidly perfect, actually.

The emoticon makes him grin, and as James stands, he sort of wanders over to his bedroom, eyes still locked on his phone.

Shut up. I am still kind of messed up... but at least Da doesn't think I am. He doesn't even care that I'm gay.

A pause. Uh.

I mean, that I might be gay. Merlin, I really have to make up my mind. Did you make it back to school?

In my personal experience, you seem a bit gay to me.

Grinning, feeling immensely better, Scorpius curls on his side, cradling the phone while he types. This Muggle contraption is pretty ingenious, he has to agree.

I'm back. In my bed.

Yeah, well, you infected me with it. I was perfectly straight until you snogged me by the pond, thank you very much.

There's a relief with the knowledge that Scorpius is in his bed, and has nothing to do with the sort of thrill he got earlier when they were talking about him being in bed.

Um. I told him I loved you. I hope that's okay.

Good God and Merlin's soggy y-fronts, seeing it in print is almost more unbearable than hearing James say it. Scorpius's face burns as heat creeps up into and over him. He feels stupidly giddy that James has now said it twice.

I like hearing you say that.

Scorpius feels really, really dumb, but he can't think of any other response.

Scorpius isn't the only one having to bite down a stupid smile. James is exhausted with all of the strain of the day, ready to sleep, but he's reluctant to stop texting him, too.

So he ducks his head at the phone, considering, before:

So tell me, too.

Scorpius would punch James if they were in the same room. But they're not, and he's not sure how to convey his annoyance without making it seem more than it really is. So, he swallows, hesitates, and then sends:

I love you, James.

And he wants to cry, just because this day is so, so much better than he thought it ever could have been.

And only me?

Don't push your luck, Potter.

Merlin. This is so sappy and ridiculous, and he can't help but beam at the stupid Muggle phone and how happy it makes him.

It may be one of the first times since they've been together that he's embraced this sort of thing without a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He's giddy, lightheaded through his tiredness.

So not only me??

Go to bed already.

Scorpius can't help it. He's not an overly mushy person, and this is still new. Who even knows how long James's love for him will last. It could just be a fluke. So it's hard to put himself out there... Even so, he throws James a bone after a few minutes.

Only you, you know that, idiot.

And James, meanwhile, worries that it might be the same for Scorpius. That when he gets out of school, that when this is less new and taboo, that it might lose it charm for him.

Can't think about that. Won't think about it, not now.

Can't sleep yet... gotta wash your shirt first.

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