volumetwo | (no subject)

His stomach is starting to hurt a little, his throat a little raw from the drinks. This is the part where he kicks him out. Come on, Jamesie, he thinks to himself, it isn't that hard. He inhales twice, deeply, silent for those two long pauses, before he says what is maybe the most telling thing he's uttered all night:

"It's not like anything between us would mean anything, anyway."

It sort of hurts. Scorpius hasn't exactly ever 'dated' anyone before. He's held out hope for certain people, Al included among them, but none of his exploits have ever led to anything more than either a 'we can never do this again' or 'this doesn't mean anything' while they do it. Maybe he'd thought it was different with James, but really, why should it be? James is straight. Isn't he? He's probably just...bored. Or lonely.

It doesn't mean anything.

"Of course not," Scorpius says. Carefully, he gets up on his knees, leans towards James and reaches to take the bottle away from him.

He's not trying to hurt him this time, and he may never realize he did. James is a little self-absorbed on the best of days, but right now he's caught up entirely in his own mind, lost in the swirl of confusion and regret and outright fear of this, of facing some very, very hard truths about himself.

He looks up when Scorpius tries to take the bottle from him, and instead just shakes his head. "...c'mere."

"Shh."

Scorpius takes the bottle anyway. James is really malleable right now, tipsy as he is. And maybe it's wrong to take advantage of this moment, of James's obvious uncertainty, but Scorpius is self-absorbed too, as all teenagers are. And if they both want to snog a bit...then why not do it?

Setting the bottle aside where neither of them can knock it over, Scorpius crawls the rest of the way forward until he's straddling James's lap.

"I'm going to kiss you again."

His face is hot, his heart beating hard in his chest, but it's hard not to reach up, not to drag him down.

"Fine," James answers, struggling to pretend to spit the word, to act like this isn't what he's wanted all week. "But only because I've been drinking." And how easy is it, justifying things like so.

"Only because you've been drinking," Scorpius agrees, leaning down where James is guiding him on his own. One hand snakes through James's full head of hair, the other braced on his shoulder so he can hold himself up.

His lips meet against James's, softly, just a light, moist kiss. He doesn't pull away completely, just enough to tip his head to a better angle and swipe his tongue along the crease of James's mouth.

James freezes for a moment, just in reflexive fear of what he's doing. This is bad. This is so bad. Nothing has changed from before, nothing makes this any less of a mistake, but he's just drunk enough to say forget it, to let himself indulge. So he winds his arm gently around Scorpius's waist, the hold gentle but firm, and carefully yields to that swipe of tongue. Two minutes. He'll time himself, they'll stop, it'll be okay- but for two minutes he can let himself have this perfect feeling, fingers curling in the other boy's shirt as he licks softly at his lip in return.

Two minutes is an awfully long time to indulge yourself, James Potter. Especially when your snogging partner has no such time limit planned out for this. In fact, the second they start kissing, Scorpius is pretty well convinced they could do this until the both of them fall asleep with their lips pressed.

Scorpius makes himself comfortable in James's lap, deepening the kiss and then sucking James's tongue into his mouth in turn.

He shudders before he can help himself. This is possibly the most electric kiss he's ever had, but- why? Because this is taboo? Because they've both been drinking? Couldn't be because of a legitimate attraction, couldn't be because he was actually fond of boys.

If Al was, then... Sure. That was fine. But not him, right?

James's hand begins to rub soft circles into Scorpius's lower back, fingers skirting the hem of his shirt, just briefly touching bare skin. Merlin, he was warm.

A shudder passes through Scorpius. He's not drunk. James may be, but Scorpius is one hundred and ten percent sober. And that means everything he's feeling are things he'd feel any time James might want to kiss him. And apparently lift up his shirt to touch him.

Scorpius doesn't move away from the questing touch. He invites it, removing his hand briefly from James's hair to tug his shirt up and give James room. Scorpius is slim and still on the verge of gawky at times, more bone than muscle, more angles than curves. It will be nigh impossible to pretend he's a girl, so what James touches is purely masculine beneath his fingertips.

James nearly breaks away when he moves to tug his shirt up. Too much, too fast, if they don't put the breaks on soon then it's going to be nightmarish, much harder to do damage control after the fact.

But he doesn't, and his fingers slide up against the ridges of his spine. Slowly, admiringly; he's not feminine at all, but James seems to be fond of that.

Scorpius can't help but laugh, a bit. His mouth pulls abruptly away as he exhales against James.

"That tickles." And it does. In stupidly wonderful ways.

Scorpius puts his hand on the back of James's neck, delicately touching his nape, the short hairs back there. He leans down to continue the kiss again. And if James is counting, they're already over the sixty second mark.

"Sorry," James murmurs, but it's clear that he's not. He's smiling, actually, righty against Scorpius's mouth, his fingers sliding against his side now. The hand on the back of his neck gives him goosebumps, makes something twist wonderfully in his stomach, but he couldn't help himself: he digs his fingers in, trying to tickle his side with one hand as he holds him firmly in his lap with the other.

Scorpius was juuust about to get his tongue in James's mouth again, when those fingers slide up his flank and he dissolves into laughter, quickly taking advantage of James's sluggishness to grab both his hands to still them. Even so, he did wriggle quite a bit, and his face is getting pink to boot.

"Prat," he teases, trying his best to breathe.

"Am not," he argues with a little laugh of his own, and tries not to think about how nice the feeling of Scorpius actually wriggling on his lap is. James shakes his head, still grinning, and leans in to kiss him hard as he simultaneously attempts to break at least one had free to start kissing him again.

His laughter. It was a good sound, an earnest one, and he wants to hear it again.

"Are, too," Scorpius argues, but his words are swallowed up by the kiss, and instead of finishing that thought, he moans instead. Only because James is struggling so much does Scorpius let go of his wrists finally. His own hands find James's chest, feeling him up over his shirt and then reaching down to find its hem so he too can touch bare skin.

He doesn't bother with just pulling it up. He urges James to get the whole thing off entirely.

The moan makes another little thrill shoot through him. His fingers flex, go still for just a moment, and then he softly shakes his head breathlessly. "Can't," he murmurs, before he leans in to kiss him again, his hands moving to gently grip his hips. He holds him there gently in his lap, focusing so, so pointedly on anything else.

"...Can't?" Scorpius repeats, a little dumbfounded. Well, also, there's the fact that James's hands have found a steady placeholder: on his hips. It's an intimate gesture, to be sure, one that Scorpius doesn't seem to mind.

Leaning in, Scorpius kisses along James's jaw, up to his ear with a grin. "Sorry...can't what, exactly?"

Two minutes have come and gone, Jamie.

"Shirts need to stay on," he mumbles, but his head tilts to the side to give Scorpius better access to his jaw. His lips are warm, and the heat of his breath so close to his ear might actually render him speechless. His thumbs begin to stroke against his hips, sincere if a little awkward, and he finally exhales a low, deep sigh.

Reluctance, so much reluctance.

"...should probably, uh. Stop, too."

"Oh....Right."

Stop?! Is James serious here?? It was just getting good! James couldn't very well have sobered up...but maybe Scorpius freaked him out with trying to take his shirt off. Shit. That's got to be it.

"Probably." He leans back, looking down at James and runs both hands through his hair.

James sighs, leaning forward and impulsively kissing the side of Scorpius's neck. It's a gentle, fond little gesture, his own breathing still a little shallow, but there's nothing wrong with that, is there? He's not doing anything bad... just showing a little measure of gratitude for the kisses earlier.

"Should probably go back to Al's room 'fore he finds you gone," he murmurs, but it's with his lips against his pulse point.

Goosebumps race down Scorpius's spine, his sides, and bubble up beneath James's breath, hot on his skin. Scorpius is dying here. The kisses, the tenderness. If this is what James Potter is like when he's a little drunk, Scorpius is going to cling to him with a bottle of alcohol at every chance. It's...nice. More than nice.

It's fantastic.

"Probably," Scorpius agrees. But he doesn't move away to leave.

"This doesn't mean anything," he adds again, but there's something a little unsure about his tone. He's trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to make Scorpius believe it, and that much is evident. He snuffles his face against his throat, and then adds: "You smell like my soap."

He might be imagining it, but god, the thought is embarrassingly appealing.

Scorpius can't help the smile that lifts onto his thin, boyish lips. They're still tingling from the kiss, and he's having other issues with James's breath wafting over his skin as it is.

The smile wavers a bit, falls, at James's words: This doesn't mean anything.

Slowly, Scorpius untangles himself from James's lap and sits back on the bed, glancing aside. This was a stupid idea. It was stupid to kiss James the first time, but it was even more inexcusable the second. If Al found out... Hell, if anyone found out...

"Yes, well, I do have to shower on occasion," he murmurs coolly.

"-hey," James says before he even realizes that he's complaining, reaching out for Scorpius before his hand falls short. Right. They weren't supposed to be doing this. They would probably be mutually disowned by their families if they were discovered like this.

Fuck it.

James turns, shifting toward the other boy and sort of just reaching out, an attempt to grab him, to pull him against his side. It's not a sexual gesture as much as is it an almost lonely one. "...just shut up and come here, would you?" It seems like he's clumsily trying to hold him.

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HAHA i meant to say to start tickling him again, yay proof reading

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