volumetwo | (no subject)

"Between you and me, I was pretty shocked, too," James mumbles, and ducks his head to rub some unbidden tears away from his eyes as surreptitiously as he possibly can. "But I promise not to ever torture any Muggles, da. You know I can't even deal with torturing Lily too long before her yelling drives me completely batty."

It's half-hearted, but he's trying so, so hard.

"Very true," Harry agrees. He spends another few moments in silence just looking at James, how tortured his eldest son looks. Those tears, even if they haven't fallen, don't go unnoticed either. He's been trained to see things others miss. And right now, he sees everything. The tenseness still etched into James's posture, the sag of his mouth even when he tries to joke, the wipe of tears.

Harry can't help it. He pulls James up off the arm of the couch and into a hug, squeezing him tight.

"It's all right, though, honestly," he says, keeping James close. "Please don't ever think I'd throw you away over something like this."

It takes James a second to figure out how he should be responding to this. A hug was literally the last way that he expected this exchange to go, and when he realizes that things might actually be okay, he sort of melts into the hug. After a moment of lingering hesitation, his own arms go up, gingerly hugging Harry back, before it turns into a tighter squeeze. For a little while, James lets himself cling to his father, as if he can't believe his luck.

"I love him, da," he says, because if he's not honest now, he's not sure he ever will be. "And he loves me, too, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I was scared. I was really scared."

Harry takes a breath in. It's...a lot. A lot to take in, and James just seems to keep shocking him. It's not like Harry is blind; he and Ginny had sort of thought Al might turn out to be gay, and after Ginny confessed she'd 'experimented with girls' in Hogwarts, it was sort of an eye opener for Harry to the world of sex and youth. He'd never had time for any of that. Who knew where he'd have wound up if he had.

Still, knowing that James considered himself gay, that he and Scorpius were in love... It was a lot. And admittedly, the whole thing didn't settle right in his stomach.

"It's all right," he says anyway, rubbing James's back for a minute. "I understand. Well, I mean I don't understand, but I understand." Harry laughed a bit, diffusing some of the tension as he pulled back and smiled at James. "I'd be happier for you if Scorpius was out of school, but...he's... I mean, you two didn't...before he was..." Harry knew Al was of legal age in these sorts of things, but was Scorpius?

"Da," James mumbles, leaning back away from him. He's admittedly soothed a lot by the way Harry rubs his back, and he ducks his head to desperately try to hide the wondrous sort of half-smile on his own face. It's an expression of pure relief, as if he can't actually believe that this is real, that this is happening.

That maybe things are going to be okay. Maybe he's going to be okay.

James opens his mouth, starts to say something again, and then finally just kind of jerks forward, grabbing him into another hug.

It's been a while since any of his children wanted to hug him, and Harry can't say it's been pleasant to wait for the moment when they would again. Having James jerk into him, pull him close, it sort of breaks Harry's heart in the way only a familial relationship can. Harry returns the hug, just as tightly as he did the first time.

"I know, I know," he says, laughing a little. No child wants to hear their parent ask about their sex life. But, hey, that's kind of his job, to ensure James is being safe at the very least.

For now, he lifts a hand and runs it through James's hair, like he did when James was a little boy and had a nightmare.

"Will you let me be the one to break it to mum?"

That hand through his hair takes him back to the sort of feeling of safety and security he had when he was a little kid, when things were clear and everything made sense. He breathes softly, lingering there, trying to cling to this feeling as long as he possibly can.

"And- and Al, too, he deserves to hear it from me. Scor was his friend first. And- Merlin, this is such a nightmare. He's going to kill me." Pulse still hammering in his throat, he leans his forehead against his father's shoulder. "...thanks. Thank you. A lot."

"Of course," Harry agrees, letting James slump against him. He'll take this for as long as he can. "It's not my place to tell any of them, and you need to do it on your own terms, when you're ready." He kissed the top of James's head, keeping him held close. "Although you know your mum; she'd rather hear it sooner than later. It won't change her love for you, I know that much."

Harry lingered there for a moment longer, and then gentle leaned back, trying to catch James's gaze.

"This doesn't mean you're not in trouble, though. Scorpius is still in school. You should know better than to encourage him sneaking out. I'll have to inform the Headmaster."

James's face flushes red when Harry leans back, and for a moment he actually looks cross. Not at Harry, but vaguely, maybe, at the Malfoy boy. "I don't encourage him," he frowns, finally - if reluctantly - stepping back from the embrace with his dad. "I try to make him stay. He has enough trouble at school without getting sent to polish grandpa's trophies for trying to sneak off campus."

This is, apparently, an argument he has a lot.

"And he can't use magic, either, when he's out, what if he gets hurt?" Ah - and that's where the frustration comes from.

There's a sudden swell of pride in Harry that at least James was trying. Even though it didn't look much like it when Harry had walked in, the argument sounded tried and true, not likely something James just made up to get out of his father's bad side.

"That...would have been my argument, too, yeah," he agrees, rubbing James's shoulders briefly before he pulls back and gives James his space.

For all of his compelling arguments, James is a teenage boy, and some manners of persuasion are harder to resist than others. James rubs at the back of his neck, still more than just a little sheepish, eyes on his own feet.

"So, um. What next?" Because this isn't something he ever thought might be possible.

"For you?" Harry smiles. "Get some rest. And try your best not to stress yourself out. For me..." That's when Harry's smile wanes a bit. "I need to talk to the Headmaster. I'll try to keep your name and the, erm, details out of it, but Hogwarts will want to know, as will the Ministry, that the school isn't as protected as we thought. If Scorpius can just walk out, we've got a problem."

"Well-" James struggles with this for a second, not sure what he should be saying here, how he should be reacting. "Maybe - can you talk to Scor first? Just- you know. He's probably pretty freaked out, too, and he'll probably be more forthright with information if he doesn't think you're about to crucify him and kick me out of the family."

He flushes again, just at bringing up his earlier fears.

"Easier to patch up the holes if you know what they are."

If James wasn't his son, Harry couldn't say what his decision would be. He's supposed to be clear-headed, no matter what. In all fairness, he should turn this over to someone else who isn't emotionally invested, but the simple fact is: Harry would do anything for his family. And maybe that will include Scorpius someday, a thought that's as weird as Hermione suddenly procuring a house-elf.

"Right," he says, rubbing the back of his neck in a similar motion to James's earlier one. "That's probably best, yeah." Looking at James, both brows lifted. "Can you contact him? Otherwise, I'll need to find him at Hogwarts, and I'm sure it'll draw some attention."

"Yeah, er..."

James's face flushes red again, but this time it's with the kind of sheepish grin that's actually a little pleased.

"He's got a Muggle phone so we can text."

"....Didn't see that one coming."

Now there's something to worry over: Malfoy's only son, using a Muggle cell phone to text Harry's kid. It would be funny if not for the situation they're currently in.

"Right, well... Can you text him? Let him know I need to talk to him, privately, and you can fill him in on the fact that there's absolutely no way I'd ever disown any of my children, especially for something like this." He grins, a little. "I'll head to Hogwarts now, then the Ministry if needed. And...I'll do my best, James. Honest. If this doesn't need to go any further, I won't let it."

"I love my owl, dad, but letters just take too long when you can just use a phone." Which was something a lot of the older wizards at the ministry still struggled with. "Grandpa started texting me the other day, too. Didn't make a lick of sense. Meant to show you at work earlier today."

James chews on his lower lip, but he straightens up as he does -- posture unconsciously prouder, head a little higher. It's amazing how much lighter he feels with so much of that internalized shame lifted. If his Da says it's going to be okay, then maybe it really will be.

"Yeah, I'll let him know."

"Merlin help you if Arthur is texting now," Harry said, unable to help the laugh that bubbled out. He'd always been so fascinated by Muggle things; it wasn't really shocking he'd try out a cell phone. Who even knew, though, how he managed to get it to work, let alone send a text to James. No doubt Molly was unaware of his new toy.

"All right. I'll go, then. And James..." He reached out, gripping James's shoulder. "I love you."

James glances at him again, trying not to seem surprised by the remark. He hesitates, concerned, before reaching up to gently touch Harry's hand with his own, a clumsy attempt at reciprocation.

"I love you, too, Da. Let me know, um, when you find anything out?"

"Of course." Harry took a step back, gave James one last smile, and then turned to Disapparate. He'd forgotten entirely what he actually had come to discuss with James, but whatever it was, it could no doubt wait. And Harry would use the door next time, that was for sure.

It takes James a solid few minutes of sitting on the arm of his couch, staring at the door and just processing what's happened, before he finally manages to take his phone out of his pocket. Well, he's not hungry anymore, so it's probably a good thing that his pasta was ruined.

Hey. Are you alright? Everything's okay.

Scorpius stares at his phone. He's been staring at it since he got back to Hogwarts, holed himself up behind his four-poster, and felt generally like he was going to throw up his intestines from the sheer anxiety and panic racing through him.

Worst of all was the guilt. He'd done this. He'd done this to James. And now, it was likely that James would never speak to him again.

He'd typed sorry sorry sorry sorry over and over again on his phone but hadn't worked up the nerve to send anything. When his phone buzzed, he jumped, hit send on accident, and then gasped when he saw James's text.

Everything's okay.

Maybe James is just being nice, but Scorpius doubts it. He wouldn't say it was okay if it wasn't....right?

Hurriedly, Scorpius adds, What happened?? James, I am so sorry I should have listened to you please don't hate me

The barrage of sorries takes him by surprise and he winces a little, feeling his own flood of guilt. He should've messaged him the moment that he knew things were alright; there was no way that Scorpius didn't feel completely terrible about all of this. God, he hadn't been kidding when he said he had no idea how to be a boyfriend, had he?

Oh, shut up, Malfoy. I TRIED to hate you before and it didn't work, remember? It's not going to happen because of something that happened on accident.

A moment of unsure hesitation before he sends it, trying to lighten the mood, and then he adds:

Are you okay? It's really okay.

It would be funny. Really. But this isn't a normal circumstance, and Scorpius can't settle the churning of his stomach. The whole thing is his fault. He just...he just outed James to his father! And got caught sneaking out of Hogwarts in the process.

You swear??

He doesn't know what else to say. He's half-afraid James is lying to him to save him some embarrassment or something.

He sucks his breath in through his teeth. Well... maybe things were better for James than they were Scorpius.

Um. Da is going to tell the Headmaster you've been sneaking out. They're going to wanna know how you were doing it. That's what he was angriest about.

<3 good BUT STILL totally dramatic

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